This is what having trouble TTC looks like to me...

I've got a fast one in my ovary...

Hello! Anyone out there?

So I had my u/s and b/w this morning (CD8) and can you believe it, there's a 20mm in there already! We just checked 2 days ago and all were less than 11mm. I'm shocked that my IUI will be taking place on CD10...10! My last 2 IUI's were more like CD 13 or 14.

Anyway, I trigger tonight (which is the first time I'll be doing it at home instead of having the nurse trigger me at the RE office). I hope this one doesn't hurt. DH insists on giving me this one just to keep me as calm as possible. Although I've been doing great giving myself the Follistim, I'm fearful that the Ovidrel will feel different and I will freak out again and take 15 minutes to stick myself. So, I'll let him do it. He's seen me do the Follistim enough that I think I can trust him.

So IUI is scheduled for Sunday morning.

::prays:: C'mon...this HAS to be it!!

Going on 16 months TTC :(

I honestly can't even begin to tell you how many cycles it has been. I only know that it hasn't been many at all. I think I got 1 or 2 periods in the first couple of months TTC (but I wasn't charting then or even really knew much about how my body worked). I did also get a period after 2 cycles of Clomid (unmonitored cycles might I add). Then with these recent IUI's of course I count these cycles since the meds help me ovulate. I think maybe only about 6-7 cycles have passed in this time (most medicated).

What is wrong with my body??? I'm at my 3rd IUI cycle and I honestly have a hard time being positive. I have never ever seen 2 lines on a HPT. What if something is wrong with my eggs? What if they are bad quality? DH's sperm are fine. I've never had a CM ferning test...maybe my CM is toxic. Then again, I guess the IUI's should bypass that issue.

What about if/when I do get pregnant...can my bitter ute hold on tight? I wish this were easier. DH is handling it well but he isn't the one that has to get poked, stung, drugged, and violated every few days.

I'm not sure why I'm feeling so...I don't know..."dramatic" I guess? I'm just reflecting on the time that has passed and I pray that the end of this struggle is near.

My first self-injection experience...

Woah...it literally took 15 minutes to finally get the needle in me. I was sweating bullets, heart was racing, I kept psyching myself out. I spent so much time staring down at my left hand pinching the skin on my belly and my left hand gripping the Follistim pen with my thumb on the plunger.

DH offered to do it but I just couldn't. First off, he didn't attend the injections class with me so I wasn't 100% confident that he'd do it correctly (silly, I know). But also, I just wanted to know that I could do it myself.

And I could! I did! It barely hurt at all (although I swear I was dizzy after from the adrenaline, lol). I should do it much quicker tomorrow (I hope).

TTC update

I last posted right before my 2nd IUI. Well it didn't work. I'm now actually starting IUI cycle #3. This time I'll be doing it with injectables (Follistim). I really hope this one works.

Meet my niece, Lea!

Born on 1/28/10 at 4:30am, 8 lbs 5.5 oz...big girl!! She is so adorable, look at those chubby cheeks. I love her so much. DH and I visited yesterday and I got to hold her. She is so quiet and calm still.

IUI #2

Hello peeps :)

So I'm on to IUI #2 which is scheduled for tomorrow. This morning I had a 15mm on the right and a 21mm on the left. I triggered at the RE office so I should O in about 36 hours or so. I think the beta will be scheduled for Jan. 27th.

Prayers!!!!!!!!