Yummy milkshake recipe...simple

• 2 cups skim chocolate milk (we love Tuscan- Over the Moon)
• 1 whole banana
• 3 tablespoons peanut butter (you can use carb friendly or low fat versions if you want)
• Sugar free wipped topping as garnish

**These measurements are totally an estimation. When I make it I just pour stuff in the blender, blend and taste as I go adding whatever ingredient I feel it needs more of**

Blend with ice, pour and top with SF whipped cream...tada!! Makes enough for 2 people (depending on how much milk you add).

Told you it was simple...and yuuuuuummy

I'm a neglectful blog mommy...

and need to get back on track with my blogeration.

So anyway...work was brutal this short 3 day work week. I am taking today and monday off by the way (eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!) but who'da thunk that only working Tuesday through Thursday would have been so stressful? Well I really should have known.

On Wednesday we had our annual community baby shower and, as always, it is a huge undertaking. It was very successful though, we had nearly 50 pregnant women in attendance and some brought their significant others making it closer to 70 attendees in total. We had so many awesome prizes and give-aways and everyone left happy. Seriously though, some of the women were soooo ungrateful!! I told everyone at the beginning of the event (I was the MC) that they would only get 1 prize (no one will be able to win more than one item so for those who already won something, if I pull their ticket again in a raffle, then we will just go on to the next person)...OMG they were all like that's not fair!! So I'm standing there by the stage with a mic facing all of these aggravated pregnant women and I caved. I gave someone 2 prizes. I had to come back and "jokingly" blame them for peer pressuring me and things went smoothly after that. Anyway this event takes it all out of me. Tuesday was spent preparing and then packing our cars, driving to the location and then unpacking the cars followed by setting up the huge room. In short...tiring!

And this was Thursday: In a meeting all day until 2:20 when I arrive back at my office. Work furiously to complete an end of year report and several other projects piled on my desk that I couldn't work on because of the baby shower event, which I need to get done before I leave for the week. Shoot out of the office at the end of the day (barely able to leave on time) to pick up DH at the orthodontist (he has Damon braces) because one of his wires was poking him and scratching up his whole mouth. I assumed I was just going there to pick him up after a 5 minute adjustment and finally get home to relax and start enjoying this long weekend. I get there and he tells me they want to go ahead with his next procedure and it will take more like 30-40 minutes. At this point I am really pissed at the situation. So I sit there and wait...we finally get home after 8:00 so I am missing some of So You Think You Can Dance...grrrrr. Glad it's being DVR'd. Then I start cleaning because his cousin is coming this weekend from Florida for my SIL's Sweet 16 on Saturday, so I know they will want to see our apartment. I finally finish and shower and by this time, still no dinner...it's after 10pm. DH orders food and I finally watch SYTYCD with the added bonus of being able to forward through the commercials. His cousin arrives at about 12am because he and his wife and kids are staying with DH's other cousin upstairs. DH visited with his cousin until after 2am then came downstairs to bed then wanted sex (sorry babe, I know you're probably reading this)...the end.

The moral of the story is...well I'm not sure but maybe typing it all out will help to shed the stress that was this week. Now I really hope to enjoy this nice long weekend. I think I'm going to test tomorrow before SIL's Sweet 16. Oh, DH made me scrambled eggs this morning so...it's a great start!

I made my BFcry today :(

We've been friends since we were 13 years old (we're 29 now) but she is always negative and I find myself defending myself to her all the time. Things that she should be supportive for she just always finds a way to ask me "why are you doing it like that? why did you pick that day? why did you do it so early?" etc etc.

Usually I just bite my tongue or just explain myself nicely but today's discussion was on TTC and she kept telling me to just relax and not stress myself out and just let it happen...don't think about it blah blah blah.

I pretty much ended up telling her that I just need her to listen and be supportive and that her suggestions are not helpful or comforting. I also told her that I often think twice about sharing things that are important to me because I am afraid that she will put a negative spin on it and make me feel like I have to defend my choices.

We went back and forth for a while but eventually I think she got it. She got really quiet and I could tell she was getting emotional. She started crying...ughhh! I felt bad! I assured her that I know she doesn't intend to come off that way and I know she has good intentions and wants only the best for me but she needs to be aware of her effect on me.

::Does the cross hairs dance::

Yup...I got lovely solid CHs this morning so I am 3dpo!! My intercourse timing is high too. FF gave me a test date of 6/7/09 which is like 18dpo but I will likely test before that -at least 14dpo. I also have a projected due date of 2/9/09...we'll see if this comes true. Please pray for me!

Ramblings...

Today is CD18 and I really thought I would have had a temp shift by this point. I was so disappointed this morning when I took my temp and saw it was relatively even with previous ones. I am really hoping and praying that tomorrow brings good luck and higher temps. Also, I had wet CM today, not EW and since I ran out of digital OPKs, I didn't take one today. Either way, I think we're covered in the sexy time department. DH has been a champ about it.

I watched the season finale of American Idol tonight and I have to say...even though I wanted Kris Allen to win, his reaction was so anti-climactic. He was kind of like...I won? Cool... Watching Adam win would have been way more interesting. (Side note: did you see what Adam was wearing? wtf...)

Oh, I can't WAIT for the premiere of So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD) tomorrow! I'm so happy it's a 2 hour premiere...yippie!!

Back to TTC stuff: DH and I spoke and we agreed that if this cycle results in a BFN, I'm only going to do 1 more round of Clomid before requesting a referral from my primary to a RE. I just don't think I can/should do more rounds without being monitored.

Anyway...it's 11pm and I'm exhausted.

Oh I forgot to mention, I saw an actual mullet today for the first time IRL! It was scary...eeesh!

Off to bed...g'night.

Is anyone out there?? ::crickets chirping::

Just thrilled beyond words!!

(well obviously, not really beyond words...)

I am on cloud 9 right now! The President of our organization came to meet with me today to announce that they are giving me a $2K bonus and that I am getting a 3% pay increase (which in our organization is the highest you can get and only with a perfect annual performance evaluation) which will be retroactive from February. I've only been here a little over a year and it' so awesome to know that my hard work is being noticed and valued...and rewarded! What a validating feeling!

In other (TTC) news, today I have EWCM (it deserves capitalization!) again...I'm going to take the last OPK in the pack tonight (EDIT: it's positive again!). I'm expecting to see my temp shoot up tomorrow as well. It went up this morning from yesterday's temp but it's not above previous temps yet. I really feel like I must be ovulating today. I was even feeling twinges around my right ovary and later on some dull, light cramp-like feelings in my lower abdomen. DH and I have been BD like crazy...lol. I really don't want to miss any opportunity to get those swimmers to where they need to go :-p

Just when I thought $40 was sliding down the drain...

I got my first +OPK today! I've been testing since CD12 and have had a negative everyday until today...I only had 2 tests left (CBE digital) and really thought I wasn't going to see that smiley face.

I actually had a couple of other signs of ovulation too:

1) My temp dipped way down this morning, and

2) I had very obvious EWCM

I took the opportunity of having a + on the digital to see what a + looks like with one of the cheapy non-digital test strips and I STILL couldn't see a clear positive. I guess I'll need to stick with the digitals.

YAY for ovulating!!

Pleeeeeeease let me ovulate soon...

I'm starting to worry a little that I might not ovulate this cycle. Trust me...I know it's too soon to worry about this...I mean it's only CD 15 but I've been using digital OPKs since CD11 and I've gotten negatives everyday including yesterday. Last cycle I ovulated on CD16...I thought I'd at least get a positive OPK by now. I have 3 tests left in my kit and I'm wondering if I just wasted $40.

Good times!

Dh and I went bowling yesterday and bowled 3 frames. It was lots of fun! Especially in the 3rd frame when I finally did well and beat DH! I had like 4 strikes including one that won us a free frame! We have a laser light show alley and what they do is randomly incorporate 1 red pin in random spots whenever it resets the pins. If you end up with the red pin in the #1 spot (the first middle pin in the triangle) you have to alert the workers and then try to hit a strike. It was my turn and what do you know? The red pin is in the #1 spot and DH goes to tell the worker...so now DH and the staff are watching me to see if I get a strike...talk about pressure!!! Amazingly, I actually bowled a strike and won a free game! That was fun!

OK that's anough exclamation points for one post, lol. One thing I realized though, bowling is probably one thing you shouldn't do once you're in the 2ww and definitely not once you are pregnant.

monday. bleh

Hello out there...

I enjoyed my weekend and now it's Monday...ughh. Friday was Alex's (DH) birthday so we went to his parents' house and hung out there for a while. A few mutual friends stopped by and had a few drinks with us. So guess what I got him for his birthday gift...a laptop that matches the one he got me for my birthday a week ago. After buying me mine and using it a couple of times, I could tell he really wanted one of his own. It was an internal struggle to justify spending the money for it...but I just want him to have something that he really wants. It hasn't arrive yet but it will soon.

On Saturday we went to Lowe's and BJ's to pick up some things we need. We're planning on painting our kitchen and putting up a chair rail. Right now our kitchen is all shades of white...white floor tiles, cabinets, stove, fridge, sink, etc and off-white walls. There are other things that add color like our dinner table which is dark green and our curtains are green too and we have a runner with many pretty colors. Anyway, we want to change the walls, curtains and dinner table. We'd like to keep the door and window frames white but add a white chair rail and then paint a sandy color above the chair rail and a serene blue/green color under the chair rail. Then we want to do a sheer curtain and light wood table. I think it will look really nice.

On Sunday we went to visit MIL and SIL for Mother's Day and then went to my BFF's house for a Mother's Day BBQ. It was nice out and we had some great food.

Tonight is my last Clomid pill for this cycle. I really hope it's my last forever! C'mon BFP!!!

Feeling blue today...

And I don't really know why. Maybe it's the rain and some work stress.

I also think the amount of waiting involved in TTC is getting to me. It's the unknown involved in this journey...will Clomid work again this time? will i get another BFN even if I do ovulate? what if I get a BFP and miscarry? Lately I feel that Ive been handling this pretty well even though it had been 9 months since last ovulating. But for some reason, today I just feel down, worried and doubtful.

I'm praying that Clomid wont just make this feeling worse (I'm starting cycle 2 tonight).

On another note, I think I need to lay off coffee. I don't drink coffee very often and I haven't had any in a couple weeks. But I had a rather large cup this morning and now I feel some chest pressure (somewhat similar to stress or anxiety). I've realized recently that coffee makes me feel this way. Ughh...I'm sure it's adding to my mood.

CD 1 :-/

So, as expected, I started spotting last night and ended up with a very heavy AF over night. Silver lining is that this is the first non-Provera induced AF in a while...thanks to Clomid.

Anyway, onward...Maybe this will be my lucky cycle!

14dpo+BFN+Dropping temps=

AF must be on her way any minute/day now. Technically I have to wait until CD40 (May12th) to call this Clomid cycle a bust and up my dosage to 100mg. However, if I really did ovulate, then I should get AF on my own and I'll just do cycle 2 of Clomid with the same dosage of 50mg.

This day sucks ass already. Not only BFN and AF looming, but it's also Saturday and I'm at work :( and I don't normally work on Saturdays. I also saw a doggy walking along the shoulder of the parkway (heartbreaking) and I started praying it wouldn't get hit by a car. On top of that, when I got to my office building, the front and back doors were locked and I had to wait for someone to come open it. Every Saturday it's open by 8am and today it didn't open until like 8:40am.

All this and it's only 9:15am. I think I might want to stay home for the rest of the weekend and just blahh. OH! and I just realized that I forgot to wear a liner just in case...greeaaaaaaaat.